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Word on the Street

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A lot has been going on since I have last posted to my self-love blog…I have been trying to get a clear picture of what to focus on, but instead, I think I will just take the shot-gun approach with today’s updates / opinions!  Ready, aim…

#1 – To the random dad who drives the 90’s, lipstick-red Camero at my daughter’s preschool: Your giant, grapefruit-sized glitter skull that sits on your antenna is pretty ridiculous, but your chrome, duo mud-flap girl, license plate frame just makes you look ridiculous.  Seriously…it’s like you should be parked in front of La Salle’s or something…Do you really feel awesome when you are driving that around with a preschooler in the front seat?  Keep it classy, Super-Dad.

#2 – I’m am working on controlling my bad attitude.  I am still in the beginning stages, though (see above).

Take Valentine’s Day, for example…my husband asked me what our plans were and then said, “Oh wait, we are going to see a concert (his favorite band, Social Distortion) on the Monday before.  We can just go out to dinner beforehand and call that our Valentine’s Day!”  Yes, my husband gets a gold star for his frugalness, but as a Gift Girl, simply lumping in my Valentine’s Day present with his birthday present (we bought those concert tickets back in November for his b-day) does not sit well with me.  Plus, I reminded him that, so far, we have no confirmed babysitter, so most likely he would be going by himself and hawking my ticket on the sidewalk out front.  “Oh no”, he replied.  “I’m sure I could sell your ticket beforehand.”  {SSSSSTTTTTEEEEEAAAAAMMMMM! Went the frustration from my ears like an old Popeye cartoon…} So much for a romantic Valentine’s Day!  Plus, Dave has online class that Tuesday night, so my Valentine’s evening will consist of me trying to keep my children quiet after a day of Valentine’s-induced merriment and treats, while Dave is holed up in the office for 2 ½ hours.  Yep…this is sounding better and better by the moment!  It’s sad that I have these expectations that things really will be different this year.

I’ve even gone so far as ‘pinning’ my favorite gift items onto my Pinterest page in case he needed help knowing what to get me.  Does my husband know this?  No.  Does he have access to my Pinterest pages?  Nope.  But still…I end up deluding myself that he would gallantly ask my close friends what I would like and then they would magically know to look at Pinterest and tell him some good tips.  You see, in this fantasy, I am also assuming my good friends will be connected to Pinterest, which is not always the case!  Seriously…you can see where this is going, right?  High expectations – 1, reality- ZERO!

Red roses have sometimes appeared at my home, but I am not really a fan of them, and even though I have told my small children many times, to ‘tell daddy to get mommy the multi-colored rose bouquet’, as we roll our cart by the floral section at Costco, my subtle hints are not working.  At all.  Or have they ever…

So…this Valentine’s Day, I am hoping to keep my gift-giving love language in check and just try and pretend that it’s not a big deal.  Yes, I do know that there are 5 major gift-giving occasions that happen every year, but I will try to let this one go.  We’ll see how it shakes down…

#3 – I got offered a full-time job today for a company in town.  I have been hoping and praying for this position for weeks, and I am so excited!  But I am also in shock, since accepting this position means a TON of changes for us.  Excited-shock…yes, that is a great way to meld the feelings!  I have been trying to get my daughter jazzed about the idea of going to preschool 5 days a week.  So far, she’s not very stoked about that, but she is being very sweet about my job offer.  My first grader is able to stay after school and do the after school program, but we learned that it is only available on MWF and if I want T/Thu, we need to be added to the waiting list.  Ummm…ok…so now we have that fun hiccup of trying to figure out what the heck I’m going to do there!  Hopefully I will get to side-step the panic stage and just move toward the peaceful-faith stage, where I know if I was meant to have this job, all the little things will end up being taken care of as well.  So far I am numb to it all and am staring at my new reality with a stupid, open-mouthed grin on my face and thinking, “Wow…full-time work away from my cozy home office…maybe I’ll be able to go get my iPhone now!”  See?  Reality doesn’t seem to be doing so hot in my little brain these days, huh?

#4 – The grossest thing happened to me the other morning.  I woke up and realized that I needed to go grab clothes out of the dryer before my son could get dressed for school.  So, out to the garage I traipsed, barefoot, and without my glasses or contacts.  I stepped over, what happened to be some wood from Dave’s art supplies that I assumed the kids probably knocked over, and emptied the dryer from the night before.  When I turned around, my blurry vision was able to make out that the wooden art supplies were not art supplies at all.  Oh no…it was a wooden rattrap with a big, gray, Remy-like rat in its clutches!  “EEEEKKKKK!!!”, went my stereotypical shriek.  I had walked over that pile of misfortune BAREFOOT!  Gross!  I could go out the side door, but no other doors were unlocked in the house, and my kids were still asleep in bed.  My husband was, luckily, still at home, but just stirring in bed and hitting ‘SNOOZE’ on his phone’s alarm.  I decided that since I had survived my first dismal crossing, the best thing to do would be to just walk over it again and get back in the house.  I managed to do this, and I now chalk it up with my ‘Gave birth twice with no drugs’ accomplishment list.  Seriously…I was BAREFOOT, people!  Stepping over a lifeless-rat!  {Shiver/gag a little!} When I made it back into my bedroom and closed the door, so as not to freak out the kids, I did the infamous ‘Ewww-gross-get-it-off-me-get-it-off-me!’ dance that you often see in footage of eccentric African tribes or if you happen to get an ant hill dropped down your back.  My husband looked at me with half-asleep eyes as I regaled him with my disgusting tale and practically ordered the man to ‘GO GET IT AND TAKE CARE OF IT!’  Thank God he was home!  Being the nice guy that he is, he bravely went out to the garage, wrapped his hand in a Target bag, and scooped up the remains.  When he came back inside to tell me that all was well, he said, “#1 That was a big rat.  #2 Guess what!  It wasn’t dead!  When I picked it up by the tail, his little legs started to move as if he was trying to get away!”  I then uttered some non-PG appropriate language and resumed feeling like I wanted to boil my feet.  Ugh…so gross!  Apparently, the rattrap was placed in our garage above the office-addition that they made, and it FLOPPED DOWN onto the floor as the trap was…engaged (?).  See?  Super-gross.

Thanks for reading!  I hope you all have a good evening, a super-fun Valentine’s Day and a non-ratty morning to come!

About Jenny Z

I love to overuse italics, misplaced hyphens and internal dialogue when I write about my usual favorite topic, myself.

One response »

  1. Again, as always Jenny, a fun read. thanks!


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