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The Wonkiest Time of the Year

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Happy Wonkymas, everyone! A wonderful-ish time of the year!

What makes this time of year wonky, you say? (And I picture you saying it in a way that makes your face crinkle up when you use the unusual word ‘wonky’.)

Well, dear reader, allow me to break it down for you.

Every year my husband has a birthday, and then 19 wonky days later, I have mine. Yes,  I know you’ve heard me jammer on before about my own self-birthday love, and this is not a do-over of that heartfelt masterpiece.

Nope, today just happens to be the 1st day of Wonkymas, where I feel like I can finally spread out my birthday-excitement wings and flap all around about how excited I am about the idea of getting a little extra spotlight time on my special day.

Gifts are of course a plus, but since I am in my early thirties (gasp!) I totally understand the shortage of gift giving that happens. Plus, my birthday teeters on the edge of Christmas-gift time, so I basically depend on my husband, parents and sister to complete 100% of my gift giving love language.

No pressure, right? Don’t worry. They usually do just fine!

Anyway…On this first day of Wonkymas, I am already feeling like I’m on the road to an excellent day.

First: I got to sleep in.
Honestly, I could just drop the mic and walk away after that statement, but seriously, there’s more.

You have no idea how awesome it was to get ready for work and NOT have to juggle getting two little kids ready for school at the same time. It was a Wonkymas miracle.

Second: I came home on my lunch break to a clean kitchen.
This really is a big deal, because our kitchen wasn’t just normal-messy. It was full-on “30-people-plus-birthday-party” messy. There were lots of drinks dropped on the floor. Lots of muddy footprints. Wine stains on the kids’ homework table. I know. Classy, huh?

And my husband spent the morning of his day off scrubbing and straightening up. What a champ!

My husband’s birthday party was a kid-free event that featured lots of food, plentiful drinks, dancing, two fires (one inside and one in the firepit outside), many rowdy games of outdoor bean bag toss* and a little ladder ball.

Oh, and Jenga, too.

Who knew? Our living room sort of felt like a Milton Bradley commercial with all these adults grinning and laughing while playing Jenga over and over again. (All with ZERO kids in sight begging the grown ups to play with them!)

Inside, I gave my all to the dance floor.

Now, I use the term ‘dance-floor’ somewhat loosely, since technically, it was the floor of my TV room that was partially covered by our well-stained rug. (Thanks, kids!) But that did not hamper my boogie-woogie ways.

I woke up the next morning as if I’d just completed a feisty round of fitness boot camp. Seriously, I was that sore and am that out of shape! Vigorous dancing apparently leaves me calling out for back rubs, downing Advil and cursing the catchy beats of my coworker’s hiptastic party playlist.

This also has me concerned that the only way I’ll be able to trick myself into exercising is by combining bumping bass lines and Costco pre-made margarita. Probably not the healthiest fitness choice. Unless Zumba has a wine night. Maybe that’s why everyone seems to like it?

In the spirit of helping my good fitness choices continue, I did a few calf-raises today while on the phone with Target. Baby steps, right?

I felt encouraged because Target’s customer service rep, Patricia, kept calling me Sweetie, which I am almost NEVER called. (Expect by friends who are usually saying it in a semi-patronizing way like, “Don’t worry if there’s broccoli in it. It’s not going to kill you, Sweetie.”

I pretended that Target-Patricia the Phone Rep could see me on the balance beam (a cement parking barrier) I was teetering on and calling out to me, “Way to go, Sweetie! Up and down…up and down! Tighten that core…keep it up! Who cares if you’re in the parking lot at work? The sun is shining and I am here to help replace your lost Target Debit card! Just hold on for a moment longer and LIFT, 2, 3, 4, LIFT, 2, 3, 4…”

Now I just have to wait 7 to 10 business days and I’ll be back to saving 5% on all my Target purchases. A big deal in my household considering my frequent Target escapades.

Here’s to a joyful Wonkymas season for all!

*Did you know that bean bag toss is often referred to as “corn hole”? Yep. Weird / gross. Despite the near-freezing temps, people still seemed to enjoy the outside festivities and were all smiles. Frozen smiles, but hey, I’ll take it.

About Jenny Z

I love to overuse italics, misplaced hyphens and internal dialogue when I write about my usual favorite topic, myself.

One response »

  1. Corryn Truesdell

    Although I am sad to miss wonkymas and fuller birthdays, I am happy you both had a great time. I do think that one day soon we will be able to party with the fullers. It is one of my most favorite things to do. Ever. I will always be a fan of your writing. I will always be a cheerleader for you. I love you and I’m sorry I missed the festivities.


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