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The Leggings Post

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PLEASE NOTE: I have started and stopped this blog post way too many times. This happens a lot when I want to write about something pretty polarizing.

I usually start with wanting to be 100% REAL and unfiltered with you. Then I get all freaked out and worried about hurting your feelings and I go back and try to wrap up my thoughts in a nice, inoffensive package so the four of you reading this will still be my friend. Or at least still read my blog. #Priorities

The following is kind of a weird combo of the two.

You may get offended and irritated with me. This is OK. This won’t be the first time one of my posts have pissed some people off.

Please know that even if we disagree on the topic, that doesn’t mean we can’t still be homies. I am amazed that you took time out of your busy day to read my wordy ramblings at all, so for that, I thank you and I think you’re pretty special.

Jenny


If you know me in the real, non-internet, world, you may know that I love fashion. I’m also extremely opinionated about fashion and have made some rather broad sweeping statements to some of my poor friends and loved ones about “the rules” and when and where they MUST be followed.

Remember this Facebook post?

Me being a snarky ass hat.

I think I went on to compare TOMS shoes to something that would be worn by the homeless or models in the movie “Zoolander” who were showing off the Derelicte campaign.

Yep. I can be pretty snarky about fashion.

I admit to using the term “Chico Dad” more than a hundred times when describing some poor older gentleman that happened to walk by me wearing his Costco polo shirt/cargo shorts/hiking sandal combo out in public. (It’s like they pass out a uniform in this town to guys or something!)

In all fairness, I’m certainly not what you’d call “a fashionista” myself.

I have a weakness for cameos that can’t be explained and I refuse to give up my obsession with stripes or polka dots. Almost everything I own is one of three colors (black, white or blue) and I’ve been known to stick a huge bow in my hair for a look that says “Thirty-something mom who is also part anime character”.

But I’ve noticed a trend lately that I’m having a real hard time with.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people sharing videos, infographics or just their own written thoughts about leggings and how not to wear them.

If you haven’t seen these posts, they usually center around the theme that if the leggings are too thin or don’t cover the wearer’s ass or choach, this makes them a skank who shouldn’t be allowed out in public to tempt mankind into lustful damnation.

Please know, I come to you now as an imperfect, mouthy fashion-wannabe. I’ve totally offended people and gone for the easy fashion joke about some unknowing person who really had no clue that I was making fun of their clothes.

I know it may be hard to take any advice from me on this subject, but I have to ask, can we just knock it off with the leggings-as-pants bashing already?

I see two main camps of bashers:

The casual “I’m sharing this leggings post because it’s relevant and lots of other people are talking about it, so I want to feel cool too” person.

You’re very sweet and want others to like you. I’m here to tell you that turning your sweet self into one of the Mean Girls is not the way to do it. Feel free to jump on the bandwagon of any other social media trend such as your thoughts about bacon, posting your pumpkin patch photos or being excited that it’s finally FALL!

I mean, shoot — it’s almost November which means the whole “30 Days of Thankfulness” thing is going to start soon and you’ll have lots of opportunity to jump on that bandwagon and post all sorts of trendy things while at the same time, being positive! Awesome!

Sometimes you want to post about the leggings topic because you think that people just look awful when they wear them in public. You think, don’t they care about their appearance? Should you really be able to see someone’s cellulite through their clothing? 

Again, knock it off. It’s not your job to point out the flaws of the humans around you. Go back to being nice and share more videos of adorable animals.

The other group of bashers are the ones I have the bigger problem with.

These are the people who feel that leggings-as-pants crosses over the big MODESTY line, and therefore, it’s their spiritual duty to warn the women of the world of their evil and tempestuous leggings-as-pants ways.

“Don’t you know we can see the shape of your B-U-T-T in those pants?!”

“Don’t you know that if my husband has to look at your fanny in those leggings, you may tempt him to start looking at pornography or go out and become a sex addict?”

Have I told you the story about when I earned the nickname “The Morality Monitor”?

Bear with me. I’ll get back to that last bombshell I just dropped on you in a sec.

One day, I was in an airport flying from San Francisco to Orlando. There was an attractive woman who bent over to check her bag across from my group. As she did so, her thong underwear crept up over the top of her waistband to reveal a black, lacy Y.

My eyes flew wide and I jumped up and stood between this woman and my FULLY-GROWN ADULT, MALE BOSS. I made it my job to protect him from the wanton ways of the slut-bag across from us. What if he had actually SEEN her lacy underpinnings? Would his Godly faith be shaken to the core?

My boss, and his gorgeous, clever, and brilliant wife who was with us, saw what I had done and questioned me about it. They were kind to 21-year-old me and came up with the Morality Monitor nickname. They weren’t as ruffled as I was with the underwear lady and let me off easy.

Back then, I saw what I had done as Godly and heroic. I had helped stopped a possible sin or temptation! 5 Jesus points for me! Yay!

Now I wonder…what the hell was I thinking? Mainly when it comes down to what was going on in my heart.

I’ll admit to totally judging that poor woman. Didn’t she do the “squat test” at home in the mirror like any self-respecting pants wearing person? Where did she get off actually trying to bend down to her luggage? In a busy airport of all places?!

I actually CARED about the people around me and I was very careful to never wear anything that could be too flirty or send the wrong message or show off parts of my body meant to be covered by my bathing suit.

I was more Godly and modest then she was.

I was, therefore, BETTER than she was at being a human.

Blergh.

I do not miss the judgmental-bitch part of my old self. At all.

But back to my earlier statement about those leggings. I have something to say to those people who bash women who wear leggings-as-pants as if it was part of the 10 Commandments:

Please stop.

I know many of you love Jesus and are totally on board with the whole dressing appropriately thing. You probably own a tankini with ruching in the tummy panel and that is totally OK. You can make whatever fashion choices you want when it comes to you and your children.

But I’ve gotta tell you, some of these things you’re saying about people who wear leggings as pants are just downright judgmental, nasty and you are making some pretty big assumptions about the women who wear them and their moral compass.

You are better than that and have a much bigger destiny on this planet than to become Captain of the Pants Patrol.

Do I personally think that leggings can be worn as pants without a shirt covering the ass? I honestly don’t care.

I’ve totally done it with my workout clothes since the idea of wearing leggings with a long shirt while I attempt to run 5,280 feet without stopping sounds even more annoying than the part where I have to move my legs quickly. Maybe I’ve even popped into Target in my “Here’s my ass-sorry!” running outfit before I got to the park because I didn’t want to go afterwards when I was all sweaty and red-faced.

And yes, I know that leggings and running pants differ (sorta) but still, I really think we need to just let go of the topic as a whole and focus on our own hearts and the choices we make. 

I know there are a ton of things we giggle about in the fashion world.

Mom jeans.

Sandals with socks.

Guys in skinny jeans.

Have you noticed that those things don’t get us thinking that the people who wear them are making an immoral choice. They’re just people who really don’t care about being on trend. Or blood circulation. I’ll admit to laughing about those things.

But my hope is that we would be known for our love of others and our words of encouragement–not for our opinions on fashion faux pas.

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